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• Thursday, September 02, 2010

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Let's Outdo the Fear Flu!

Using the Right Brain to Outsmart Societal Logic

by Allison Arneill

Walk into any bar in Truckee (or the country-at-large) and you’ll easily find a doom-and-gloom conversation about someone’s personal finances and the economy, among other depressing topics. I support that we express our feelings and am intimately familiar with fear and loss. The downside here is that this talk is contagious, much like a flu, and its trajectory is a downward spiral toward the worst possible outcome. This talk stems from a useful but often misused, limited source – the “logic” center of our left brain. This is the part of our brain that, if we allow it, replays those stories of “there will never be enough” to keep us trapped in the status quo. The good news is we’ve got more brain to tap into: the creative, right brain!
     To reveal the power of your other hemisphere, I ask you: How often have you gotten to a really good place in life by following the “rules” or taking the logical, linear path? Most successful and fulfilled people I know got there by way of creativity (their right brain) and defying logic, often in the face of adversity. They risked breaking “the rules” (but not the law!) to transcend a so-called “reality.”

     One of the most courageous, rule-breaking acts in my book is to risk acting from a place of glee and faith rather than fear. With that said, how often do you make decisions (major or minor) from fear, with not an ounce of glee? Cases in point: You choose the chicken over the filet mignon you really crave so you won’t run out of money. You sacrifice a morning hike to pay bills because you might run out of time. You settle for a job you don’t like because you might not find better work that pays the bills. WHAT IF THE OPPOSITES WERE TRUE? You order the filet mignon over the chicken because treating yourself motivates you to be more productive and successful. You go for a morning run over paying the bills because it gives you 10 times more energy so you can pay the bills AND knock 10 more things off your “To Do List”. You quit that draining job and come up with an interim plan because only then can you be inspired to find a job that makes you jump out of bed in the morning.

     Choices motivated by fear often get us more of what we fear. Choices motivated by glee often get us more of what we love. How does this work? Personally, every time I make a choice from fear of “there will never be enough of x, y or z,” my energy constricts, I get slightly depressed, and I approach the world with that doom-and-gloom perspective of LACK. And, ironically, I often then find data to support my fears, perpetuating my fear-based thinking. The clincher in this case is I NEVER get exactly what I want. Yet, when I believe “there is enough” or “things WILL work out for the best,” I often find data to suppport that line of  thinking. Could we have more choice here than we think we do? Yes! Believe there IS enough! Believe IT WILL ALL WORK OUT.

     Imagine two people. One walks around saying, “There is never enough (love, food, work, money). You better buy your plot and headstone now because land is going to be hard to come by. Have you clipped your coupons today?” The other walks around saying “I have more than enough and I always get what I desire. I THRIVE in times of hardship.” (The saboteur in your left brain may be saying, “It can’t get that good. They’re in denial, are annoying, were born rich.”) BUT: With whom would you rather have dinner? Who would you rather date or marry? For whom would you rather work? Who would you rather BE? Most of us would choose the second person because somewhere in our consciousness we KNOW that if we project prosperity, our chances of getting it back ARE BETTER than if we project fear and lack. If this type of thinking were a ski run, it would be a triple black diamond, folks. But just like the great skiing masters, envision your safe and joyful arrival at the bottom of the slope and you’ll be fine. So give it a shot. If you believe life can be much more than you ever imagined possible, that’s what you’ll get – and yes, even in spite of the market. The choice is yours. Gleefully, Allison

     ~ Allison Arneill lives in Truckee and has taught in the Psychology Department at Connecticut College. She is founder of Blissbound Coaching & Leadership, blissbound.com.